Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Isotopic Analysis of the Illegal Military Regime in Fiji

"A scientific description of the illegal regime of Voreqe Bainimarama and his underlings"



A major research scientific institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to man and science. The new element has been named Bai-cronium. The scientific symbol for the new Bai-cronium is the letter 'F'.

Bai-cronium has one neutron, twelve assistant neutrons, seventy- five deputy neutrons, and two hundred and twenty-four assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of three hundred and eleven. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Bai-cronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bai-cronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bai-cronium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity or concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Bai-cronium activates RadioRaturalasium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude with more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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